


The Nile

by Dreaming_in_Circles



Category: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: Crack, Feel-good, Fluff, Gen, nile river
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-25
Updated: 2020-07-25
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:21:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25517194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dreaming_in_Circles/pseuds/Dreaming_in_Circles
Summary: Sometime in the future, on the way to a less time-sensitive job, the crew take a boat down the Nile River, and Booker can't resist talking about it.
Comments: 12
Kudos: 133





	The Nile

**Author's Note:**

  * For [EyLittleRed](https://archiveofourown.org/users/EyLittleRed/gifts).



> Total crack, but hey. Good times. It's all for the puns, suggested by EyLittleRed.

Andy liked Egypt; the sun, the food, the music, the history. Rarely was history so old so well-preserved as it was in Egypt - except, of course, for all the pieces that were no longer _in_ Egypt. But that was a different, if stubbornly enduring, problem. 

And she liked the Nile; blue water feeding green trees, or contrasted against yellow sands. The people had done a lot of work to clean it up, since the coup. The list time she’d been there, it had literally run red with blood; it was good to see the country was healing.

“Remind me why we’re taking the long way ‘round?” Booker complained, but when Andy looked at him, turning away from the boat’s railing, he didn’t exactly look like he was suffering, stretched out on the front deck of the trawler boat, soaking up sun.

“Because you were starting to look depressingly pale, Booker,” Nicky called from the cabin. He was keeping Joe company while he navigated. Andy looked up to see Nile standing on top of the cabin, where she’d climbed almost as soon as they departed Cairo, claiming she needed a better view. Even after all these years, her curiosity had not waned, and Andy really admired that. Andy might have taught her how to swing an axe, but Nile taught her how to live again, properly. She’d been so good for them.

Booker flipped off Nicky through the cabin window and readjusted his cowboy hat to better block the sun. Texas had been fun - as much as any war ever was - and after Booker started wearing it, they couldn’t get him to take it off. It was ridiculous. Andy still had her short hair, but Nile was wearing an afro these days and Joe had shaved while Nicky seemed to be thinking about growing his hair back out. He hadn’t done that since the Renaissance, and Andy was kind of hoping he committed; it would be fun. So maybe it was time for a change for her; a lot more women were going bald this century, she wondered if she could pull that look off. 

Nile slid down from the top of the cabin, boots thudding on the deck, and joined Andy at the railing. “I like it,” she said, leaning back. “It’s relaxing.” It was; the river was quiet, tourists still almost non-existent in the country, but Nicky and Joe had known someone.

“That’s ironic,” Booker said, tilting his hat so he could look at Nile from under it. “Considering last time.” Nile rolled her eyes at him.

“We all died in Egypt last time,” Nicky pointed out. “It was an uprising.”

“Yeah, but Nile’s was the death-”

“Don’t you dare,” Andy interrupted, because she could finally see where this was going.

“-on the Nile,” Booker finished. Nile groaned, Joe rolled his eyes so hard he was lucky he didn’t sprain something, and Nicky - well, Nicky smiled, but he’d always had a soft spot for Booker’s stupid puns.

“I swear to god, Booker, your puns get worse every year,” Andy said.

“I donno what you’re talking about boss; you must be-”

“Don’t do it.”

“-in de-Nile.”

“That’s it,” Andy said. She handed her beer to Nile and walked toward Booker, who bolted to his feet, hat in one hand, the other extended toward Andy like he was trying to calm down a wild animal.

“Boss, I donno what you’re doing, but-”

Andy shook her head slowly, gravely, but she could barely hold back her smile. “One bad pun too many, Book. You gotta pay for it, now.”

“No no no,” Booker laughed, backing around the corner of the boat. Joe was laughing, and Nicky materialized in the doorway of the cabin to block Booker’s escape. Realizing he was cornered, Book made a half-hearted attempt to deck Andy, which she dodged easily and grabbed his collar and ducked down to hook her arm around his knee and lift him up in a deadlift over her head.

“Boss, no, don’t do it!” Booker pleaded between laughter.

“Dunk ‘im!” Nile yelled from the other side of the boat. She had Andy’s beer in one hand, an old-fashioned camera in the other, clearly taking a video. 

“Into the Nile!” Joe yelled in agreement.

“You hear that, Book? The group has voted,” Andy said sagely. 

“No-o-o,” Booker cried in mock horror, but he could barely get the words out of his mouth between laughter. Andy hoisted him all the way above her head while the boys cheered and Nile wolf whistled and very dramatically walked to the boat railing. Booker grabbed onto her elbow in a feeble attempt to save himself, but when Andy heaved and tossed him through the air, she slipped right out of his grip. He sailed a perfect, steep arc down and hit the water with a dramatic splash, hat still in hand. 

**Author's Note:**

> An actual, slightly less crack, Old Guard fic is coming, I just had to get this out of my head first haha.


End file.
